Recessional: Toxic Wife Syndrome


Not all toxic wives are trophy wives, and not all trophy wives are toxic wives. But I suspect that the intersection between the two sets is very high. It has a high Dice Similarity Coefficient value.






Sheesh, those last four words suggest a misogynistic culture! Are there analogous words for males?

Odysseus heard the song of the siren, but lived to tell the tale.

If a siren fought a harpy, who would win? Which has more hit points? Better armor class? Does more damage? I think both can fly. Maybe they’re the same thing? Maybe they’re distinct species, but evolved from some common ancestor. I’ll have to break out my Monster Manual and check.

OK, let’s see here, according to the Monster Manual, 3rd ed. (Gary Gygax; Lake Geneva, WI:TSR Hobbies, Inc., 1978), p. 51, harpies are armor class 7, have 3 hit dice, have 3 attacks per melee round, doing 1-3/1-3/1-6 damage, can fly, and have special abilities of singing and charm.

Sirens aren’t mentioned in the Monster Manual, 3rd ed. But in the Monster Manual II (Gary Gygax; Lake Geneva, WI:TSR Hobbies, Inc., 1983), a creature called a sirine appears on p. 109. Sirines have armor class 3 or less, have 4-7 hit dice, have 1 attack per melee round, damage done is by weapon type, can fly, and have special abilities of charm, polymorph self, fog cloud, and improved invisibility. They’ve got 20% magic resistance. No indication that they can fly.

All in all, in a one-on-one cage match, I think a well-armed sirine would beat a harpy.

Neither the Monster Manual nor the Monster Manual II list a shrew or a virago.

Finally, just in case you didn’t know (but surely you knew already?!), Gary Gygax died earlier this year. And Dungeons and Dragons 4th edition is now on the scene.

(My goodness this was a geeky post.)